I've been a bad, bad blogger

It has been a very hard week to post on this blog. I have had a hard time wanting to put down any thoughts about the Sandy Hook shooting. I think it has been because when you write something you make it real. But then I haven't wanted to post and NOT mention Sandy Hook either. That seemed like it might be avoiding both what I and what many of you have been thinking and praying about this last week. But here I am on Saturday afternoon. I am doing my last minute preparations for church tomorrow (finishing up a sermon, looking at the fabric I already own to see if it can be made into costumes for the pageant, trying to find a feminist view of Mary and Elizabeth). As I was looking through our bulletin for tomorrow, the final Sunday of Advent, I was reading through the lighting of the Advent candle, which takes place at the very beginning of our service. I have been the celebrant the last two weeks, and so I have read this out loud  two weeks in a row. But somehow I just experienced it as new when I read it to myself just now. It concludes: "Lord, grant us your light, that we, being rid of the darkness of our hearts, may come to the true light which is Christ." This does not mean (like we have heard a few people say) that if we had more religion in our culture that the Sandy Hook shooting would not have happened. No. Absolutely not. But it does help us think about the fact that ALL of us have some darkness in our hearts, and that that what we do together as the Church is ask God for light. We need light because there is a darkness to humanity. We need light because it is only with it that we can be rid of the fear, the uncertainty, the anxiety of our darkness. We need light to see that our brothers and sisters, the all humanity is valuable when we see that they too have the light of Christ. When we gather each week as the Church, as the assembly of the Body of Christ we are asking for light, and when we go out into the world we carry that light with us. That is our task. Our task is to come into our Church, and then go out into the world. Asking for light, and bringing it out with us again.